Zach's Brimstone Ham & Bean Crockpot Soup

Below is Zach's unedited, pure output recipe for a crock pot Ham & Bean Soup, enjoy!

A more polished version will be edited and added at a later date.

 

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Leftover spiral ham meat and bone [20 lb ham] (substitute ham hock and diced ham if you want an inferior soup and an inferior life)

Sautee: (preferably with 2 tablespoons of chicken fat. I guess oil will work)

2 med onion (small dice)

2 lbs carrots (rough chopped, adult male fingertip sized)

8 stalks celery (rough chop)

2 heads garlic (peeled & smashed)

Add 2 ounces of butter once the veg is sweated and toss toss toss; deglaze with 1 cup of  water and pour into a big ass crockpot 

Add 16-20 quarts of water and the ham bone (reserve the meat until the end so it doesn’t get shitty) 

Add: 

½ tbsp red chili flake (Add more if you want it hotter I don’t care)

¼ cup of Brimstone or Brimstone Inferno

2 lbs great northern beans (Don’t soak them first unless you want porridge)

1 tsp italian seasoning 

2 dried bay leaves

1 tsp smoked paprika 

Cook on low for 9 hours (Stir every 3 hours)

After 9 hours, add your ham and ½ cup of light brown sugar

Add worcestershire and salt to taste (Ham is salty as shit be careful)

Let the ham steep for at least 30 mins on the warm setting

Serve with sourdough bread only to deserving people or animals

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